just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
