She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
