pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
This house was built for laser tag.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
