Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
