Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
