I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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