people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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