break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
