sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
