Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
