Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
