k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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