I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
