it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it hurts more in the daytime
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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