Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cockslap morals
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
