That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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