I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you never un-have a 4some
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There's even glitter on my cock...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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