Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
