I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Holy sore nipples Batman
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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