I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
