I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
