Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
