I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
