Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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