We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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