East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
