My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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