you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
