so let's talk penis.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I lost the right to judge tonight
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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