Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
