So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
