I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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