So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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