Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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