how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
