Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
