So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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