If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
