Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
