Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
