do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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