I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
