Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just forgot I was standing up.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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