the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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