WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
