Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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