if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
