come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
