Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
