Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
