Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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