rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
