Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
